The Things We Are Afraid to Write About

The last of a series on truth-telling in life and art. See the first post, Dare to Be Yourself, here.

Did you notice how my writing got analytical and vague last week?

For the past year, I have been easing my way toward dealing with the most defining moment of my life – the nadir from which the rest of my life has been an ascension. I thought I was ready, but I was wrong. I pushed and my chief defense mechanism, my intellect, jumped into the fray.

I believe that as I learn to retell my story with myself as the protagonist, as I turn my knowledge of storytelling on myself and claim the moment I chose to walk out of darkness towards my own power, I am changing my life. But, I also believe that this is a deep-body process, not one I can think my way through. As soon as I jump to analyzing emotional events intellectually, I know that I am reacting from fear and it is time for me to turn back to play.

I came up against my hard edges last week and hit a wall. I’m closer to my deepest material than I have ever been, but I need to be gentler with myself. Time for me to go back to some sneaky deep play.

Which is why I decided that I will leave my improvised poems about play up at A More Playful Life. Leaving them up is scary, but it is a fear I am willing to face. And, by approaching the poetry InterPlayfully, I connect to a deeply supportive community.

I hope you’ll drop by and check them out.


About Kate Arms-Roberts

Posted on April 2, 2012, in Interplay, Play, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Sounds right to follow your instincts about what pace to go at, Kate. I’m doing the same, using baby steps to get back to a primal part of me that went numb about eight years ago. So far, it’s been working to not go straight to the Big Thing first, but to take lots of interim steps.

    • Kate Arms-Roberts

      I agree that baby steps is right. Those numb spots went numb for a reason and our self-protective mechanisms are going to protect those feelings until they confirm that it is safe to expose them.
      Here’s to taking it easy as we approach.

  2. Hey. It takes a lot of courage to write about the difficult, traumatic stuff. Kudos and candy to you for trying. Enough baby steps and you’ll get there eventually.

  1. Pingback: Dancing with Courage: Embracing Fear as a Guide « Kate Arms-Roberts

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